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Leo Tolstoy
Count Lev Nikolayevich Tolstoy, commonly referred to in English as Leo Tolstoy (September 9, 1828 – November 20, 1910) was a Russian novelist, writer, essayist, philosopher, Christian anarchist, pacifist, educational reformer, vegetarian, moral thinker and an influential member of the Tolstoy family.

Read Letter to a Hindu, which spurred a friendship between Tolstoy and Gandhi, one of 20 of his works available in several languages, including Tagalog, free from Project Gutenberg.





Tolstoy is widely regarded as one of the greatest of all novelists, particularly noted for his masterpieces War and Peace and Anna Karenina; in their scope, breadth and realistic depiction of Russian life, the two books stand at the peak of realistic fiction. As a moral philosopher he was notable for his ideas on nonviolent resistance through his work The Kingdom of God is Within You, which in turn influenced such twentieth-century figures as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Biography
Count Leo (pronounced in his family circle as "Lyov", not "Lev") was born on his father's estate of Yasnaya Polyana, in the Tula guberniya of Central Russia. The Tolstoys are a well-known family of old Russian nobility, the writer's mother was born a Princess Volkonsky, while his grandmothers came from the Troubetzkoy and Gorchakov princely families. Tolstoy was connected to the grandest families of Russian aristocracy; Alexander Pushkin was his fourth cousin. The fact of belonging by birth to the best Russian nobility marks off Tolstoy very distinctly from the other writers of his generation. He always remained a class-conscious nobleman who cherished his impeccable French pronunciation and kept aloof from the intelligentsia.

Early life
Tolstoy's childhood and boyhood were passed between Moscow and Yasnaya Polyana, in a large family of three brothers and a sister. He has left us an extraordinarily vivid record of his early human environment in the wonderful notes he wrote for his biographer Pavel Biryukov. He lost his mother when he was two, and his father when he was nine. His subsequent education was in the hands of his aunt, Madame Ergolsky, who is supposed to be the starting point of Sonya in War and Peace. (His father and mother are respectively the starting points for the characters of Nicholas Rostov and Princess Marya in the same novel).

In 1844, Tolstoy began studying law and Oriental languages at Kazan University, where teachers described him as "both unable and unwilling to learn." He found no meaning in further studies and left the university in the middle of a term. In 1849 he settled down at Yasnaya Polyana, where he attempted to be useful to his peasants but soon discovered the ineffectiveness of his uninformed zeal.

Much of the life he led at the university and after leaving it was of a kind usual with young men of his class, irregular and full of pleasure-seeking — wine, cards, and women — not entirely unlike the life led by Pushkin before his exile to the south. But Tolstoy was incapable of that lighthearted acceptance of life as it came. From the very beginning, his diary (which is extant from 1847 on) reveals an insatiate thirst for a rational and moral justification of life, a thirst that forever remained the ruling force of his mind. The same diary was his first experiment in forging that technique of psychological analysis which was to become his principal literary weapon.

Military career
Tolstoy's first literary effort was the translation of A Sentimental Journey Through France and Italy. Sterne's influence on his early works was substantial, although he subsequently denigrated him as "a devious writer". To the year 1851 belongs his first attempt at a more ambitious and more definitely creative kind of writing. In the same year, sick of his seemingly empty and useless life in Moscow, which brought about heavy gambling debts, he went to the Caucasus, where he joined an artillery unit garrisoned in the Cossack part of Chechnya, as a volunteer of private rank, but of noble birth (?????). In 1852 he completed his first story (Childhood) and sent it to Nikolai Nekrasov for publication in the Sovremennik. The story had an immediate success and gave Tolstoy a definite place in Russian literature.

In his battery Tolstoy lived the rather easy and unoccupied life of a noble officer of means. He had much spare time, and most of it was spent in hunting. In the little fighting he saw, he did very well. In 1854 he received his commission and was, at his request, transferred to the army operating against the Turks in Wallachia, where he took part in the siege of Silistria. In November of the same year he joined the garrison of Sevastopol. There he saw some of the most serious fighting of the century. He took part in the defense of the famous Fourth Bastion and in the Battle of Chernaya River, the bad management of which he satirized in a humorous song, the only piece of verse he is known to have written.

In Sevastopol he wrote the Sebastopol Sketches, widely viewed as his first approach to the techniques to be used so effectively in War and Peace. Appearing as they did in the Sovremennik monthly while the siege was still on, the stories greatly increased the general interest in their author. In fact, the Tsar Alexander II was known to have said in praise of the author of the work, "Guard well the life of that man." Soon after the abandonment of the fortress, Tolstoy went on leave of absence to Petersburg and Moscow. The following year he left the army, thoroughly disgusted with the meaningless carnage he had witnessed.

Between retirement and marriage
The years 1856-61 were passed between Petersburg, Moscow, Yasnaya, and foreign countries. In 1857 (and again in 1860-61) he traveled abroad and returned disillusioned by the selfishness and materialism of European bourgeois civilization, a feeling expressed in his short story Lucerne and more circuitously in Three Deaths. As he drifted towards a more oriental worldview with Buddhist overtones, Tolstoy learned to feel himself in other living creatures. He started to write Kholstomer, which contains a passage of interior monologue by a horse. Many of his intimate thoughts were repeated by a protagonist of The Cossacks, who reflects, falling on the ground while hunting in a forest:

'Here am I, Dmitri Olenin, a being quite distinct from every other being, now lying all alone Heaven only knows where – where a stag used to live – an old stag, a beautiful stag who perhaps had never seen a man, and in a place where no human being has ever sat or thought these thoughts. Here I sit, and around me stand old and young trees, one of them festooned with wild grape vines, and pheasants are fluttering, driving one another about and perhaps scenting their murdered brothers.' He felt his pheasants, examined them, and wiped the warm blood off his hand onto his coat. 'Perhaps the jackals scent them and with dissatisfied faces go off in another direction: above me, flying in among the leaves which to them seem enormous islands, mosquitoes hang in the air and buzz: one, two, three, four, a hundred, a thousand, a million mosquitoes, and all of them buzz something or other and each one of them is separate from all else and is just such a separate Dmitri Olenin as I am myself.'
He vividly imagined what the mosquitoes buzzed: 'This way, this way, lads! Here's some one we can eat!' They buzzed and stuck to him. And it was clear to him that he was not a Russian nobleman, a member of Moscow society, the friend and relation of so-and-so and so-and-so, but just such a mosquito, or pheasant, or deer, as those that were now living all around him. 'Just as they, just as Uncle Eroshka, I shall live awhile and die, and as he says truly: "grass will grow and nothing more".'


These years after the Crimean War were the only time in Tolstoy's life when he mixed with the literary world. He was welcomed by the litterateurs of Petersburg and Moscow as one of their most eminent fellow craftsmen. As he confessed afterwards, his vanity and pride were greatly flattered by his success. But he did not get on with them. He was too much of an aristocrat to like this semi-Bohemian intelligentsia. All the structure of his mind was against the grain of the progressive Westernizers, epitomized by Ivan Turgenev, who was widely considered the greatest living Russian author of the period. Turgenev, who was in many ways Tolstoy's opposite was also one of his strongest praises calling Tolstoy's 1862 short novel The Cossacks, "The best story written in our language."

Tolstoy did not believe in progress and culture and liked to tease Turgenev by his outspoken or cynical statements. His lack of sympathy with the literary world culminated in a resounding quarrel with Turgenev (1861), whom he challenged to a duel but afterwards apologized for so doing. The whole story is very characteristic and revelatory of his character, with its profound impatience of other people's assumed superiority and their perceived lack of intellectual honesty. The only writers with whom he remained friends were the conservative "landlordist" Afanasy Fet and the democratic Slavophile Nikolay Strakhov, both of them entirely out of tune with the main current of contemporary thought.

In 1859 he started a school for peasant children at Yasnaya, followed by twelve others, whose ground-breaking libertarian principles Tolstoy described in his 1862 essay, "The School at Yasnaya Polyana". He also authored a great number of stories for peasant children. Tolstoy's educational experiments were short-lived, but as a direct forerunner to A.S.Neill's Summerhill School, the school at Yasnaya Polyana can justifiably be claimed to be the first example of a coherent theory of libertarian education.

In 1862 Tolstoy published a pedagogical magazine, Yasnaya Polyana, in which he contended that it was not the intellectuals who should teach the peasants, but rather the peasants the intellectuals. He came to believe that he was undeserving of his inherited wealth, and gained renown among the peasantry for his generosity. He would frequently return to his country estate with vagrants whom he felt needed a helping hand, and would often dispense large sums of money to street beggars while on trips to the city. In 1861 he accepted the post of Justice of the Peace, a magistrature that had been introduced to supervise the carrying into life of the Emancipation reform of 1861.

Meanwhile his insatiate quest for moral stability continued to torment him. He had now abandoned the wild living of his youth, and thought of marrying. In 1856 he made his first unsuccessful attempt to marry (Mlle Arseniev). In 1860 he was profoundly affected by the death of his brother Nicholas, which was for him the first encounter with the inevitable reality of death. After these reverses, Tolstoy reflected in his diary that at thirty four, no woman could love him, since he was too old and ugly. In 1862, at last, he proposed to Sofia Andreyevna Behrs and was accepted. They were married on 23 September of the same year.
[edit]Marriage and family life

His marriage is one of the two most important landmarks in the life of Tolstoy, the other being his conversion. Once he entertained a passionate and hopeless aspiration after that whole and unreflecting "natural" state which he found among the peasants, and especially among the Cossacks in whose villages he had lived in the Caucasus. His marriage provided for him an escape from unrelenting self-questioning. It was the gate towards a more stable and lasting "natural state". Family life, and an unreasoning acceptance of and submission to the life to which he was born, now became his religion.

For the first fifteen years of his married life he lived in this blissful state of confidently satisfied life, whose philosophy is expressed with supreme creative power in War and Peace. Sophie Behrs, almost a girl when he married her and 16 years his junior, proved an ideal wife and mother and mistress of the house. On the eve of their marriage, Tolstoy gave her his diaries detailing his sexual relations with female serfs. Together they had thirteen children, five of whom died in their childhoods.Sophie was, moreover, a devoted help to her husband in his literary work, and the story is well known how she copied out War and Peace seven times from beginning to end. The family fortune, owing to Tolstoy's efficient management of his estates and to the sales of his works, was prosperous, making it possible to provide adequately for the increasing family.

Conversion
Tolstoy had always been fundamentally a rationalist. But at the time he wrote his great novels his rationalism was suffering an eclipse. The philosophy of War and Peace and Anna Karenina (which he formulates in A Confession as "that one should live so as to have the best for oneself and one's family") was a surrender of his rationalism to the inherent irrationalism of life. The search for the meaning of life was abandoned. The meaning of life was Life itself. The greatest wisdom consisted in accepting without sophistication one's place in Life and making the best of it. But already in the last part of Anna Karenina a growing disquietude becomes very apparent. When he was writing it the crisis had already begun that is so memorably recorded in A Confession and from which he was to emerge the prophet of a new religious and ethical teaching.

Following this conversion, the details of which are given below, Tolstoy's rationalism found satisfaction in the admirably constructed system of his doctrine. But the irrational Tolstoy remained alive beneath the hardened crust of crystallized dogma. Tolstoy's diaries reveal that the desires of the flesh were active in him till an unusually advanced age; and the desire for expansion, the desire that gave life to War and Peace, the desire for the fullness of life with all its pleasure and beauty, never died in him. We catch few glimpses of this in his writings, for he subjected them to a strict and narrow discipline. His magic touch did not suffer from his conversion, however. He wrote as effortlessly as ever and his late years produced admirable works of art, such as Hadji Murat, one of many pieces that appeared posthumously. It became increasingly apparent, that, in the words of Vladimir Nabokov, there were only two subjects that Tolstoy was really interested in and thought worth writing about — and these were life and death. The relationship between life and death was examined by him over and over again, with increasing complexity, in the final version of Kholstomer, in The Death of Ivan Ilyich, in How Much Land Does a Man Need?

Later life
Soon after A Confession became known, Tolstoy began, at first against his will, to recruit disciples. The first of these was Vladimir Chertkov, an ex-officer of the Horse Guards, described by D.S. Mirsky as a "narrow fanatic and a hard, despotic man, who exercised an enormous practical influence on Tolstoy and became a sort of grand vizier of the new community". Tolstoy also established contact with certain sects of Christian communists and anarchists, like the Dukhobors. Despite his unorthodox views and support for Thoreau's doctrine of civil disobedience, Tolstoy was unmolested by the government, solicitous to avoid negative publicity abroad. Only in 1901 the Synod excommunicated him. This act, widely but rather unjudiciously resented both at home and abroad, merely registered a matter of common knowledge — that Tolstoy had ceased to be an Orthodox Church-man.

The dogmatic followers of Tolstoy were never numerous, but his reputation among people of all classes grew immensely. It spread all over the world, and by the last two decades of his life Tolstoy enjoyed a place in the world's esteem that had not been held by any man of letters since the death of Voltaire. Yasnaya Polyana became a new Ferney — or even more than that, almost a new Jerusalem. Pilgrims from all parts flocked there to see the great old man. But Tolstoy's own family remained hostile to his teaching, with the exception of his youngest daughter Alexandra Tolstaya. His wife especially took up a position of decided opposition to his new ideas. She refused to give up her possessions and asserted her duty to provide for her large family. Tolstoy renounced the copyright of his new works but had to surrender his landed property and the copyright of his earlier works to his wife. His late marriage life has been described by A. N. Wilson as one of the unhappiest in literary history.

Tolstoy was remarkably healthy for his age, but he fell seriously ill in 1901 and had to live for a long time in Gaspra and Simeiz, Crimea. Still he continued working to the last and never showed the slightest sign of any weakening of brain power. Ever more oppressed by the apparent contradiction between his preaching of communism and the easy life he led under the regime of his wife, full of a growing irritation against his family, which was urged on by Chertkov, he finally left Yasnaya, in the company of his daughter Alexandra and his doctor, for an unknown destination. After some restless and aimless wandering he headed for a convent where his sister was the mother superior but had to stop at Astapovo junction. There he was laid up in the stationmaster's house and died on November 7, 1910. He was buried in a simple peasant's grave in a wood 500 meters from Yasnaya Polyana. Thousands of peasants lined the streets at his funeral.

Novels and fictional works
Tolstoy's fiction consistently attempts to convey realistically the Russian society in which he lived. Matthew Arnold commented that Tolstoy's work is not art, but a piece of life. Arnold's assessment was echoed by Isaak Babel who said that, "if the world could write by itself, it would write like Tolstoy".

His first publications were three autobiographical novels, Childhood, Boyhood, and Youth (1852–1856). They tell of a rich landowner's son and his slow realization of the differences between him and his peasants. Although in later life Tolstoy rejected these books as sentimental, a great deal of his own life is revealed, and the books still have relevance for their telling of the universal story of growing up.

Tolstoy served as a second lieutenant in an artillery regiment during the Crimean War, recounted in his Sevastapol Sketches. His experiences in battle helped develop his pacifism, and gave him material for realistic depiction of the horrors of war in his later work.
The Cossacks (1863) is an unfinished novel which describes the Cossack life and people through a story of Dmitri Olenin, a Russian aristocrat in love with a Cossack girl. This text was acclaimed by Ivan Bunin as one of the finest in the language. The magic of Tolstoy's language is naturally lost in translation, but the following excerpt may give some idea as to the lush, sensuous, pulsing texture of the original:

Along the surface of the water floated black shadows, in which the experienced eyes of the Cossack detected trees carried down by the current. Only very rarely sheet-lightning, mirrored in the water as in a black glass, disclosed the sloping bank opposite. The rhythmic sounds of night — the rustling of the reeds, the snoring of the Cossacks, the hum of mosquitoes, and the rushing water, were every now and then broken by a shot fired in the distance, or by the gurgling of water when a piece of bank slipped down, the splash of a big fish, or the crashing of an animal breaking through the thick undergrowth in the wood. Once an owl flew past along the Terek, flapping one wing against the other rhythmically at every second beat.

War and Peace is generally thought to be one of the greatest novels ever written, remarkable for its breadth and unity. Its vast canvas includes 580 characters, many historical, others fictional. The story moves from family life to the headquarters of Napoleon, from the court of Alexander I of Russia to the battlefields of Austerlitz and Borodino. The novel explores Tolstoy's theory of history, and in particular the insignificance of individuals such as Napoleon and Alexander. But more importantly, Tolstoy's imagination created a world that seems to be so believable, so real, that it's not easy to realize that most of his characters actually never existed and that Tolstoy never witnessed the epoch described in the novel.

Somewhat surprisingly, Tolstoy did not consider War and Peace to be a novel (nor did he consider many of the great Russian fictions written at that time to be novels). It was to him an epic in prose. Anna Karenina (1877), which Tolstoy regarded as his first true novel, was one of his most impeccably constructed and compositionally sophisticated works. It tells parallel stories of an adulterous woman trapped by the conventions and falsities of society and of a philosophical landowner (much like Tolstoy), who works alongside the peasants in the fields and seeks to reform their lives. His last novel was Resurrection, published in 1899, which told the story of a nobleman seeking redemption for a sin committed years earlier and incorporated many of Tolstoy's refashioned views on life.

Tolstoy's later work is often criticised as being overly didactic and patchily written, but derives a passion and verve from the depth of his austere moral views. The sequence of the temptation of Sergius in Father Sergius, for example, is among his later triumphs. Gorky relates how Tolstoy once read this passage before himself and Chekhov and that Tolstoy was moved to tears by the end of the reading. Other later passages of rare power include the crises of self faced by the protagonists of After the Ball and Master and Man, where the main character (in After the Ball) or the reader (in Master and Man) is made aware of the foolishness of the protagonists' lives.

Tolstoy had an abiding interest in children and children's literature and wrote tales and fables. Some of his fables are free adaptations of fables from Aesop and from Hindu tradition.

Reputation
Tolstoy's contemporaries paid him lofty tributes: Dostoevsky thought him the finest of all living writers while Gustave Flaubert compared him to Shakespeare and gushed: "What an artist and what a psychologist!". Anton Chekhov, who often visited Tolstoy at his country estate, wrote: "When literature possesses a Tolstoy, it is easy and pleasant to be a writer; even when you know you have achieved nothing yourself and are still achieving nothing, this is not as terrible as it might otherwise be, because Tolstoy achieves for everyone. What he does serves to justify all the hopes and aspirations invested in literature."

Later critics and novelists continue to bear testaments to his art: Virginia Woolf went on to declare him "greatest of all novelists", and James Joyce noted: "He is never dull, never stupid, never tired, never pedantic, never theatrical!". Thomas Mann wrote of his seemingly guileless artistry—"Seldom did art work so much like nature"—sentiments shared in part by many others, including Marcel Proust, William Faulkner, Vladimir Nabokov, who placed him above all other Russian fiction writers, even Gogol, and equalled him with Pushkin among Russian poets.

Religious and political beliefs At approximately the age of 50, Tolstoy had a mid-life crisis, at which point he determined that he could not go on living without knowing the meaning of life, and so he vowed to either find it or commit suicide. After exploring a variety of areas, he found his answer in the teachings of Jesus, which in his interpretation have strong Buddhist overtones. He relates the story of his mid-life crisis in A Confession, and the conclusions of his studies in My Religion, The Kingdom of God is Within You, and The Gospels in Brief.

The teaching of mature Tolstoy is a rationalized "Christianity", stripped of all tradition and all positive mysticism. He rejected personal immortality and concentrated exclusively on the moral teaching of the Gospels. Of the moral teaching of Christ, the words "Resist not evil" were taken to be the principle out of which all the rest follows. He rejected the authority of the Church, which sanctioned the State, and he condemned the State, which sanctioned violence and corruption. His condemnation of every form of compulsion authorizes us to classify Tolstoy's teaching, in its political aspect, as Christian anarchism.

Sources
Tolstoy's conversion from a dissolute and privileged society author to the non-violent and spiritual anarchist of his latter days was brought about by two trips around Europe in 1857 and 1860-61, a period when many liberal-leaning Russian aristocrats escaped the stifling political repression in Russia; others who followed the same path were Alexander Herzen, Mikhail Bakunin and Peter Kropotkin. During his 1857 visit, Tolstoy witnessed a public execution in Paris, a traumatic experience that would mark the rest of his life. Writing in a letter to his friend V. P. Botkin:

The truth is that the State is a conspiracy designed not only to exploit, but above all to corrupt its citizens ... Henceforth, I shall never serve any government anywhere.


Tolstoy's political philosophy was also influenced by a March 1861 visit to French anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon, then living in exile under an assumed name in Brussels. Apart from reviewing Proudhon's forthcoming publication, "La Guerre et la Paix", whose title Tolstoy would borrow for his masterpiece, the two men discussed education, as Tolstoy wrote in his educational notebooks:

If I recount this conversation with Proudhon, it is to show that, in my personal experience, he was the only man who understood the significance of education and of the printing press in our time.


In Chapter VI of A Confession, Tolstoy quoted the final paragraph of Schopenhauer's The World as Will and Representation. In this paragraph, the German philosopher explained how the nothingness that results from complete denial of self is only a relative nothingness and not to be feared. Tolstoy was struck by the description of Christian, Buddhist, and Hindu ascetic renunciation as being the path to holiness. This conformed to his own ideas, expressed in his diary for years. Thus Tolstoy, the Russian nobleman, gradually became converted to the ascetic morality, chosing poverty and denial of the will.

Christian anarchism
Though he did not call himself an anarchist because he applied the term to those who wanted to change society through violence, Tolstoy is commonly regarded as an anarchist. Tolstoy's Christian beliefs were based on the Sermon on the Mount, and particularly on the phrase about turn the other cheek, which he saw as a justification for pacifism, nonviolence and nonresistance. Tolstoy believed being a Christian made him a pacifist and, due to the military force used by his government, being a pacifist made him an anarchist.

Tolstoy's doctrine of nonresistance (nonviolence) when faced by conflict is another distinct attribute of his philosophy based on Christ's teachings. By directly influencing Mahatma Gandhi with this idea through his work The Kingdom of God is Within You, Tolstoy has had a huge influence on the nonviolent resistance movement to this day. He also opposed private property and the institution of marriage and valued the ideals of chastity and sexual abstinence (discussed in Father Sergius and his preface to The Kreutzer Sonata), ideals also held by the young Gandhi.

In hundreds of essays over the last twenty years of his life, Tolstoy reiterated the anarchist critique of the State and recommended books by Kropotkin and Proudhon to his readers, whilst rejecting anarchism's espousal of violent revolutionary means, writing in the 1900 essay, "On Anarchy":

The Anarchists are right in everything; in the negation of the existing order, and in the assertion that, without Authority, there could not be worse violence than that of Authority under existing conditions. They are mistaken only in thinking that Anarchy can be instituted by a revolution. But it will be instituted only by there being more and more people who do not require the protection of governmental power ... There can be only one permanent revolution - a moral one: the regeneration of the inner man.


Pacifism
Despite his misgivings about anarchist violence, Tolstoy took risks to circulate the prohibited publications of anarchist thinkers in Russia, and corrected the proofs of Peter Kropotkin's "Words of a Rebel", illegally published in St Petersburg in 1906. Two years earlier, during the Russo-Japanese War, Tolstoy publicly condemned the war and wrote to the Japanese Buddhist priest Soyen Shaku in a failed attempt to make a joint pacifist statement.

A letter Tolstoy wrote in 1908 to an Indian newspaper entitled "Letter to a Hindu" resulted in intense correspondence with Mohandas Gandhi, who was in South Africa at the time and was beginning to become an activist. Reading "The Kingdom of God is Within You" had convinced Gandhi to abandon violence and espouse nonviolent resistance, a debt Gandhi acknowledged in his autobiography, calling Tolstoy "the greatest apostle of non-violence that the present age has produced". The correspondence between Tolstoy and Gandhi would only last a year, from October 1909 until Tolstoy's death in November 1910, but led Gandhi to give the name the Tolstoy Colony to his second ashram in South Africa. Besides non-violent resistance, the two men shared a common belief in the merits of vegetarianism, the subject of several of Tolstoy's essays (see Christian vegetarianism).

Along with his growing idealism, Tolstoy also became a major supporter of the Esperanto movement. Tolstoy was impressed by the pacifist beliefs of the Doukhobors and brought their persecution to the attention of the international community, after they burned their weapons in peaceful protest in 1895. He aided the Doukhobors in migrating to Canada.]]> In Quotes http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=991 Sat, 7 Nov 2009 00:47:00 -1100 Let's Eat: Jenjon’s Café Beats Competition http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5594
Jenjon's Cafe
Courier photo
1704 Decoto Rd
(between Alvarado Niles Rd & Meyers Dr)
Union City, CA 94587
(510) 471-7100

By Alyssa Pimentel, Courier School News Editor
Jenjon’s Café, conveniently located near the Logan campus, has become a hit among teens that wants a good meal for a cheaper price offered at the popular and overcrowded Tapioca Express.

Jenjon’s Cafe, though small for a restaurant, seem to provide more room than Tapioca because barely anyone goes there. The service by these workers is speedy and given with a friendly smile.

When entering the café, they greet you and give you a menu where you can order from a variety of foods such as sandwiches, burgers, salads, and other favorites like hot wings. With that order, you can buy smoothies, coffee, milk tea and other drinks.

A personal favorite of mine when I go there is their cheeseburger and passion fruit smoothie. Their cheeseburger can be bought for the price of $3.99 and the smoothie for $3.25, totaling my meal to $7.24.

The same meal, substituting their spicy chicken for the cheeseburger, would have cost somewhere closer to $10. Sure, the difference is only a few dollars more for Tap. But with regular visitors, those few dollars could amount to quite a sum over time.

Though a real comparison between Jenjon’s Café and Tapioca Express cannot be done with their food, their drinks could be compared.

The price range of Tapioca’s drinks range from $3.75 to $4.25. These same drinks are available at Jenjon’s Café for a much cheaper price. Jenjon’s Café sells slushy for the mere price of $2.25, plus tax.

Though Jenjon’s Café might not have all the same flavors Tapioca has, it does make up for it by having flavors that Tap does not have, like star fruit slushy and honeydew juice.

Jenjon’s Café should be praised for its low prices and high-quality food. If you’re around the area, Jenjon’s Café is worth a visit. ]]> Entertainment http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5594 Fri, 6 Nov 2009 16:54:30 -1100 Let's Eat: Hawaiian Hole-in-the-Wall Offers Good, Inexpensive Breakfasts http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5593
Due Divino
432 Ena Road
Honolulu, Hawaii 96815
(808) 955-4142

By Beatrice Esteban, Courier Staff Writer
On our trip to Waikiki, my family and I were unaccompanied by extended family members who knew the area, so we were unaccustomed to the streets and places to go. We were walking along Kailana Road looking for a place to eat, and my dad began to make small talk with one of those seemingly-annoying people that pass out fliers. He gave my dad a flier that promised ten percent off breakfast, so we went to try the restaurant.

Due Divino is an Italian restaurant located on Ena Road, near the ABC convenience store. It’s a small little “hole-in-the-wall” restaurant next to a tattoo place. Not exactly what you’d envision for a “nice” breakfast, but my family and I were definitely willing to give it a try.

Upon entering, we already felt like home. The decoration is minimal, with a few ukuleles placed around the restaurant near the windows. The waitress had us sit wherever we liked. Once seated, she immediately gave us menus and offered us beverages, listing off not only fresh-squeezed orange juice, but also guava juice and the house-blend Kona coffee. The coffee here is very good – and this is coming from someone who isn’t the biggest fan of coffee.

The breakfast menu is a mix of local Hawaiian and Italian food, along with your traditional American breakfast items. The breakfast plates and omelets are all served with your choice of home fries or rice and toast. You can also order traditional French toast or have it stuffed with your choice of blueberry, macadamia nut cream, or chocolate chip macadamia nut. You can also order pancakes and waffles, or even a 10” breakfast pizza.

I ordered the “local breakfast” – two slices of Spam and two eggs served with your choice of home fries or rice and toast. I had it with rice and toast and was very pleased when I got my order. Most restaurants tend to skimp out on portions of rice, but I was given a very generous portion of rice. I like my eggs sunny-side up and very runny, which I ordered and was given on my plate. The toast was not the traditional white toast, but rather, well-grilled sourdough. The Spam wasn’t too oily and was very soft – my dad ordered the exact same meal as I did and said that the Spam “nearly melted in [his] mouth.”

My mom ordered a breakfast plate of two eggs and smoked ham, with a side of the regular French toast. Her French toast was also made of sourdough, and she described it as “moist, delicious, and not too sweet.” I had a taste of her home fries and they were also very good, well-boiled and seasoned.

If you stop by here, not only will your stomach and taste buds love you, but your wallet will as well. Breakfast plates range from $4-$13 based on what you order. Our entire meal came up to $30 for five of us. Considering the “tourist prices” we’ve been subject to at other restaurants, it was a nice reprieve to have good food at an affordable and reasonable price.

There was only one waitress when we went, but the restaurant was empty when we came in since it was only eight in the morning. A few people filtered in later, but she was still able to accommodate everyone in the restaurant. She was very cheerful and asked to refill our coffee often. She also offered us another coupon for dinner when we paid. The restaurant seems to appeal to locals because she seemed to be familiar with a couple that walked in a little while later.

If you’re looking for a fancy Italian restaurant, find another restaurant. But if you’re looking for a good local favorite with good local prices, Due Divino is the place for you.
]]> Entertainment http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5593 Fri, 6 Nov 2009 09:19:54 -1100 Homework: Is it Really Necessary? http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5592 By Shamal Asnani, Courier Film Critic

At James Logan High School, a school with a population of more than four thousand students, it seems like the one thing that they can agree on is the value and necessity of homework. Many students are able to agree that homework contains many fewer pros than cons, for a variety of reasons.

Twelfth grader Ian Phillips said “I believe homework is a waste of time because students aren’t forced to try as hard as they possibly can. Students see homework as a task rather than a learning opportunity and gain nothing from it.”

Phillips is not alone in defining homework as merely just another task for students. If it weren’t for homework, a large amount of students would most likely not bother doing any sort of school related work at home.

Ashneel Kumar agrees. He said, “If there is school related work to be done, it should be done at school.”

One student in particular, Andrew Berger, had a quite harsh reaction toward homework, but not toward the content. “Homework is from teachers that don’t teach during the day and make you bring it home and teach yourself,” he said.

On the contrary, there are students who prefer to view homework in a much more positive light. Some students actually do not mind doing homework as long as there is some aspect of interest for them.

This applies to eleventh grader Brian Dinh, who said, “I like doing homework that has some relation to my past so that I can learn about my heritage.”

Another student in this group, Christian Manlutac, said, “I like doing math homework because it’s like solving a puzzle.”

Other students prefer to view homework as a useful tool. “Homework is good because it helps refresh your memory on the content we learn.”

Whatever their views, students receive homework on an almost daily basis. Of ten students that were asked, seven agreed that homework is presented to them much more as an unnecessary task, rather than a useful tool in assisting them in making academic achievements.

Although most students do agree that homework is an unnecessary burden, one does have to wonder how productive and efficient a school could be without it.]]> Features http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5592 Fri, 6 Nov 2009 09:05:55 -1100 Let's Eat: Sprinkles Takes the Cupcake to New Heights http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5591
Sprinkles Cupcakes
393 Stanford Shopping Center
Palo Alto, CA 94304
(650) 323-9300
Mon-Sat. 9:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m.
Sun. 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.

By Ranjana Prasad, Courier Staff Writer

Candace Nelson founded Sprinkles Cupcakes. Her great grandmother had a restaurant in San Francisco and was renowned for her wonderful desserts during the 1930s. So as a result of this Candace and her husband decided to continue this and they opened their own cupcake bakery in Beverly Hills. The legacy of her great grandmother still continues.

Sprinkles, billed as the world's first cupcake bakery, has now spread to many other states and they have established a place in the Stanford Shopping Center in Palo Alto. Also, stores will be opening in many more places in the future.

This place is phenomenal. The cupcakes taste outstanding. There are so many different flavors, such as banana, lemon, mocha, ginger lemon, cinnamon sugar, chocolate coconut and many more. There are certain flavors featured on each day of the week.

These cupcakes are very well balanced. They have equal amounts of frosting and cake.This produces a wonderful taste.

The staff at the Stanford Shopping Center the staff is friendly and the shop is clean. The location is very nice and isn’t always jam-packed.

A single cupcake will cost you $3.25 and a dozen are $36. The prices are worth it. These are ooey gooey cupcakes that melt in your mouth.

I love going there to eat cupcakes. They taste so wonderful. When I go to parties I always take a dozen or more of Sprinkles cupcakes. It’s a great dessert to eat.]]> Entertainment http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5591 Fri, 6 Nov 2009 07:45:52 -1100 "In this world a spell of good health is the best state." Suleiman I http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5580
From wikipedia:
Suleiman I (6 November 1494 – 5/6/7 September 1566) was the tenth and longest-reigning Sultan of the Ottoman Empire, from 1520 to his death in 1566. He is known in the West as Suleiman the Magnificent and in the East, as the Lawmaker, for his complete reconstruction of the Ottoman legal system. Suleiman became a prominent monarch of 16th century Europe, presiding over the apex of the Ottoman Empire's military, political and economic power. Suleiman personally led Ottoman armies to conquer the Christian strongholds of Belgrade, Rhodes, and most of Hungary before his conquests were checked at the Siege of Vienna in 1529. He annexed most of the Middle East in his conflict with the Persians and large swathes of North Africa as far west as Algeria. Under his rule, the Ottoman fleet dominated the seas from the Mediterranean to the Red Sea and the Persian Gulf.

Read The government of the Ottoman Empire in the time of Suleiman the Magnificent (1913) by Albert Howe Lybyer, free from archive.org.At the helm of an expanding empire, Suleiman personally instituted legislative changes relating to society, education, taxation, and criminal law. His canonical law (or the Kanuns) fixed the form of the empire for centuries after his death. Not only was Suleiman a distinguished poet and goldsmith in his own right; he also became a great patron of culture, overseeing the golden age of the Ottoman Empire's artistic, literary and architectural development. He spoke four languages: Persian, Arabic, Serbian and Chagatay (the oldest version of Turkish language).

In a break with Ottoman tradition, Suleiman married a harem girl, Roxelana, who became Hürrem Sultan; her intrigues as queen in the court and power over the Sultan made her quite renowned. Their son, Selim II, succeeded Suleiman following his death in 1566 after 46 years of rule.

Suleiman was born in Trabzon along the coast of the Black Sea, probably on 6 November 1494. His mother was Valide Sultan Aishe Hafsa Sultan or Hafsa Hatun Sultan, who died in 1534. At the age of seven, he was sent to study science, history, literature, theology, and military tactics in the schools of the Topkapı Palace in Istanbul. As a young man, he befriended Ibrahim, a slave who later became one of his most trusted advisers. From the age of seventeen, young Suleiman was appointed as the governor of first Kaffa (Theodosia), then Sarukhan (Manisa) with a brief tenure at Edirne . Upon the death of his father, Selim I (1465–1520), Suleiman entered Istanbul and acceded to the throne as the tenth Ottoman Sultan. An early description of Suleiman, a few weeks following his accession, was provided by the Venetian envoy Bartolomeo Contarini: "He is twenty-five years of age, tall, but wiry, and of a delicate complexion. His neck is a little too long, his face thin, and his nose aquiline. He has a shade of a moustache and a small beard; nevertheless he has a pleasant mien, though his skin tends to pallor. He is said to be a wise Lord, fond of study, and all men hope for good from his rule. His turban is also excessively large." Some historians claim that in his youth Suleiman had an admiration for Alexander the Great. He was influenced by Alexander's vision of building a world empire that would encompass the east and the west, and this created a drive for his subsequent military campaigns in Asia and in Africa, as well as in Europe.

Upon succeeding his father, Suleiman began a series of military conquests, eventually suppressing a revolt led by the Ottoman-appointed governor of Damascus in 1521. Suleiman soon made preparations for the conquest of Belgrade from the Kingdom of Hungary—something his great-grandfather Mehmed II had failed to achieve. Its capture was vital in eliminating the Hungarians who, following the defeats of the Serbs, Bulgarians and Byzantines, remained the only formidable force who could block further Ottoman gains in Europe. Suleiman encircled Belgrade and began a series of heavy bombardments from an island in the Danube. With a garrison of only 700 men, and receiving no aid from Hungary, Belgrade fell in August 1521.

News of the conquest of one of Christendom's major strongholds spread fear across Europe. As the ambassador of the Holy Roman Empire to Istanbul was to note, "The capture of Belgrade was at the origin of the dramatic events which engulfed Hungary. It led to the death of King Louis, the capture of Buda, the occupation of Transylvania, the ruin of a flourishing kingdom and the fear of neighbouring nations that they would suffer the same fate…"

The road to Hungary and Austria lay open, but Suleiman diverted his attention to the Eastern Mediterranean island of Rhodes, the home base of the Knights Hospitaller, whose activities as pirates near Asia Minor and the Levant had posed a perennial problem to Ottoman interests. In the summer of 1522, taking advantage of the navy he inherited from his father, Suleiman dispatched an armada of some 400 ships whilst personally leading an army of 100,000 across Asia Minor to a point opposite the island. Following a siege of five months with brutal encounters, Rhodes capitulated and Suleiman allowed the Knights of Rhodes to depart. They eventually formed their new base in Malta.

As relations between Hungary and the Ottoman Empire deteriorated, Suleiman resumed his campaign in Eastern Europe and on 29 August 1526, he defeated Louis II of Hungary (1506–26) at the Battle of Mohács. In its wake, Hungarian resistance collapsed and the Ottoman Empire became the pre-eminent power in Eastern Europe. Upon encountering the lifeless body of King Louis, Suleiman is said to have lamented: "I came indeed in arms against him; but it was not my wish that he should be thus cut off while he scarcely tasted the sweets of life and royalty."

Under Charles V and his brother Ferdinand, Archduke of Austria, the Habsburgs reoccupied Buda and took Hungary. As a result, in 1529, Suleiman once again marched through the valley of the Danube and regained control of Buda and in the following autumn laid siege to Vienna. It was to be the Ottoman Empire's most ambitious expedition and the apogee of its drive towards the West. With a reinforced garrison of 16,000 men, the Austrians inflicted upon Suleiman his first defeat, sowing the seeds of a bitter Ottoman-Habsburg rivalry which lasted until the 20th century. A second attempt to conquer Vienna failed in 1532, with Suleiman retreating before reaching the city. In both cases, the Ottoman army was plagued by bad weather (forcing them to leave behind essential siege equipment) and was hobbled by overstretched supply lines.

By the 1540s a renewal of the conflict in Hungary presented Suleiman with the opportunity to avenge the defeat suffered at Vienna. Some Hungarian nobles proposed that Ferdinand, Archduke of Austria (1519–64), who was ruler of neighbouring Austria and tied to Louis II's family by marriage, be King of Hungary, citing previous agreements that the Habsburgs would take the Hungarian throne if Louis died without heirs. However, other nobles turned to the nobleman John Zápolya who, being supported by Suleiman, remained unrecognized by the Christian powers of Europe. In 1541 the Habsburgs once again engaged in conflict with the Ottomans, attempting to lay siege to Buda. With their efforts repulsed, and more Habsburg fortresses captured as a result, Ferdinand and his brother Charles V were forced to conclude a humiliating five-year treaty with Suleiman. Ferdinand renounced his claim to the Kingdom of Hungary and was forced to pay a fixed yearly sum to the Sultan for the Hungarian lands he continued to control. Of more symbolic importance, the treaty referred to Charles V not as 'Emperor', but in rather plainer terms as the 'King of Spain', leading Suleiman to consider himself the true 'Caesar'.

With his main European rivals subdued, Suleiman had assured the Ottoman Empire a powerful role in the political landscape of Europe.

As Suleiman stabilized his European frontiers, he now turned his attention to the ever present threat posed by the Shi'a Safavid dynasty of Persia (Iran). Two events in particular were to precipitate a recurrence of tensions. First, Shah Tahmasp had the Baghdad governor loyal to Suleiman killed and replaced with an adherent of the Shah, and second, the governor of Bitlis had defected and sworn allegiance to the Safavids. As a result, in 1533, Suleiman ordered his Grand Vizier Ibrahim Pasha to lead an army into Asia where he retook Bitlis and occupied Tabriz without resistance. Having joined Ibrahim in 1534, Suleiman made a push towards Persia, only to find the Shah sacrificing territory instead of facing a pitched battle, resorting to harassment of the Ottoman army as it proceeded along the harsh interior.[ When in the following year Suleiman and Ibrahim made a grand entrance into Baghdad, its commander surrendered the city, thereby confirming Suleiman as the leader of the Islamic world and the legitimate successor to the Abbasid Caliphs.

Attempting to defeat the Shah once and for all, Suleiman embarked upon a second campaign in 1548–1549. As in the previous attempt, Tahmasp avoided confrontation with the Ottoman army and instead chose to retreat, torching Azerbaijan in the process and exposing the Ottoman army to the harsh winter of the Caucasus. Suleiman abandoned the campaign with temporary Ottoman gains in Tabriz and the Azerbaijan region of Iran, a lasting presence in the province of Van, and some forts in Georgia.

In 1553 Suleiman began his third and final campaign against the Shah. Having initially lost territories in Erzurum to the Shah's son, Suleiman retaliated by recapturing Erzurum, crossing the Upper Euphrates and laying waste to parts of Persia. The Shah's army continued its strategy of avoiding the Ottomans, leading to a stalemate from which neither army made any significant gain. In 1554, a settlement was signed which was to conclude Suleiman's Asian campaigns. It included the return of Tabriz, but secured Baghdad, lower Mesopotamia, the mouths of the river Euphrates and Tigris, as well as part of the Persian Gulf. The Shah also promised to cease all raids into Ottoman territory.

Campaigns in the Indian Ocean and India
Main articles: Capture of Aden (1548) and Ottoman expedition to Aceh
Aden cannon of Suleiman, founded by Mohammed ibn Hamza in 1530-31 for an Ottoman invasion of India. Taken in the capture of Aden in 1839 by Cap. H.Smith of HMS Volage. Tower of London.

In the Indian Ocean, Suleyman led several naval campaigns against the Portuguese in an attempt to remove them and reestablish trade with India. Aden in Yemen was captured by the Ottomans in 1538, in order to provide an Ottoman base for raids against portuguese possessions on the western coast of India. Sailing on to India, the Ottomans failed against the Portuguese at the Siege of Diu in September 1538, but then returned to Aden where they fortified the city with 100 pieces of artillery. From this base, Sulayman Pasha managed to take control of the whole country of Yemen, also taking Sa'na. Aden arose against the Ottomans however and invited the Portuguese instead, so that the Portuguese were in control of the city until its seizure by Piri Reis in the Capture of Aden (1548).

With its strong control of the Red Sea, Suleiman succesfully managed to dispute control of the Indian trade routes to the Portuguese and maintained a significant level of trade with the Indian continent throughout the 16th century.

In 1564, Suleiman received an embassy from Aceh (modern Indonesia), requesting Ottoman support against the Portuguese. As a result an Ottoman expedition to Aceh was launched, which was able to provide extensive military support to the Acehnese.

Mediterranean and North Africa
Having consolidated his conquests on land, Suleiman was greeted with the news that the fortress of Koroni in Morea (the modern Peloponnese) had been lost to Charles V's admiral, Andrea Doria. The presence of the Spanish in the Eastern Mediterranean concerned Suleiman, who saw it as an early indication of Charles V's intention to rival Ottoman dominance in the region. Recognizing the need to reassert the navy's preeminence in the Mediterranean, Suleiman appointed an exceptional naval commander in the form of Khair ad Din, known to Europeans as Barbarossa. Once appointed admiral-in-chief, Barbarossa was charged with rebuilding the Ottoman fleet, to such an extent that the Ottoman navy equalled in number those of all other Mediterranean countries put together. In 1535 Charles V won an important victory against the Ottomans at Tunis, which together with the war against Venice the following year, led Suleiman to accept proposals from Francis I of France to form an alliance against Charles. In 1538, the Spanish fleet was defeated by Barbarossa at the Battle of Preveza, securing the eastern Mediterranean for the Turks for 33 years until the defeat at the Battle of Lepanto in 1571.

East of Morocco, huge territories in North Africa were annexed. The Barbary States of Tripolitania, Tunisia, and Algeria became autonomous provinces of the Empire, serving as the leading edge of Suleiman's conflict with Charles V, whose attempt to drive out the Turks failed in 1541. The piracy carried on thereafter by the Barbary pirates of North Africa can be seen in the context of the wars against Spain. For a short period Ottoman expansion secured naval dominance in the Mediterranean. Ottoman navies also controlled the Red Sea, and held the Persian Gulf until 1554, when their ships were defeated by the navy of the Portuguese Empire. The Portuguese had taken Ormus (in the Strait of Hormuz) in 1515 and would continue to vie with Suleiman's forces for control of Aden, in present-day Yemen.

In 1542, facing a common Habsburg enemy, Francis I sought to renew the Franco-Ottoman alliance. As a result, Suleiman dispatched 100 galleys under Barbarossa to assist the French in the western Mediterranean. Barbarossa pillaged the coast of Naples and Sicily before reaching France where Francis made Toulon the Ottoman admirals naval headquarters. The same campaign had seen Barbarossa attack and capture Nice in 1543. By 1544, a peace between Francis I and Charles V had put a temporary end to the alliance between France and the Ottoman Empire.

Elsewhere in the Mediterranean, when the Knights Hospitallers were re-established as the Knights of Malta in 1530, their actions against Muslim navies quickly drew the ire of the Ottomans who assembled another massive army in order to dislodge the Knights from Malta. The Ottomans invaded in 1565, undertaking the Great Siege of Malta, which began on May 18 and lasted until September 8, and is portrayed vividly in the frescoes of Matteo Perez d'Aleccio in the Hall of St. Michael and St. George. At first it seemed that this would be a repeat of the battle on Rhodes, with most of Malta's cities destroyed and half the Knights killed in battle; but a relief force from Spain entered the battle, resulting in the loss of 30,000 Ottoman troops.

Administrative reforms
Whilst Sultan Suleiman was known as "the Magnificent" in the West, he was always Kanuni Suleiman or "The Lawgiver" to his own Ottoman subjects. As the historian Lord Kinross notes, "Not only was he a great military campaigner, a man of the sword, as his father and great-grandfather had been before him. He differed from them in the extent to which he was also a man of the pen. He was a great legislator, standing out in the eyes of his people as a high-minded sovereign and a magnanimous exponent of justice". The overriding law of the empire was the Shari'ah, or Sacred Law, which as the divine law of Islam was outside of the Sultan's powers to change. Yet an area of distinct law known as the Kanuns (canonical legislation) was dependent on Suleiman's will alone, covering areas such as criminal law, land tenure and taxation. He collected all the judgments that had been issued by the nine Ottoman Sultans who preceded him. After eliminating duplications and choosing between contradictory statements, he issued a single legal code, all the while being careful not to violate the basic laws of Islam. It was within this framework that Suleiman, supported by his Grand Mufti Ebussuud, sought to reform the legislation to adapt to a rapidly changing empire. When the Kanun laws attained their final form, the code of laws became known as the kanun‐i Osmani, or the "Ottoman laws". Suleiman's legal code was to last more than three hundred years.

Suleiman gave particular attention to the plight of the rayas, Christian subjects who worked the land of the Sipahis. His Kanune Raya, or "Code of the Rayas", reformed the law governing levies and taxes to be paid by the rayas, raising their status above serfdom to the extent that Christian serfs would migrate to Turkish territories to benefit from the reforms. The Sultan also played a role in protecting the Jewish subjects of his empire for centuries to come. In late 1553 or 1554, on the suggestion of his favorite doctor and dentist, the Spanish Jew Moses Hamon, the Sultan issued a firman formally denouncing blood libels against the Jews. Furthermore, Suleiman enacted new criminal and police legislation, prescribing a set of fines for specific offences, as well as reducing the instances requiring death or mutilation. In the area of taxation, taxes were levied on various goods and produce, including animals, mines, profits of trade, and import-export duties. In addition to taxes, officials who had fallen into disrepute were likely to have their land and property confiscated by the Sultan.

Education was another important area for the Sultan. Schools attached to mosques and funded by religious foundations provided a largely free education to Muslim boys in advance of the Christian countries of the time. In his capital, Suleiman increased the number of mektebs (primary schools) to fourteen, teaching children to read and write as well as the principles of Islam. Children wishing further education could proceed to one of eight medreses (colleges), whose studies included grammar, metaphysics, philosophy, astronomy, and astrology. Higher medreses provided education of university status, whose graduates became imams or teachers. Educational centers were often one of many buildings surrounding the courtyards of mosques, others included libraries, refectories, fountains, soup kitchens and hospitals for the benefit of the public.

Cultural achievements
Under Suleiman's patronage, the Ottoman empire entered the golden age of its cultural development. Hundreds of imperial artistic societies (called the Ehl-i Hiref, "Community of the Talented") were administered at the Imperial seat, the Topkapı Palace. After an apprenticeship, artists and craftsmen could advance in rank within their field and were paid commensurate wages in quarterly annual installments. Payroll registers that survive testify to the breadth of Suleiman's patronage of the arts, the earliest of documents dating from 1526 list 40 societies with over 600 members. The Ehl-i Hiref attracted the empire's most talented artisans to the Sultan's court, both from the Islamic world and recently conquered territories in Europe, resulting in a blend of Islamic, Turkish and European cultures. Artisans in service of the court included painters, book binders, furriers, jewellers and goldsmiths. Whereas previous rulers had been influenced by Persian culture (Suleiman's father, Selim I, wrote poetry in Persian), Suleiman's patronage of the arts had seen the Ottoman Empire assert its own artistic legacy.

Suleiman himself was an accomplished poet, writing in Persian and Turkish under the nom de plume Muhibbi (Lover). Some of Suleiman's verses have become Turkish proverbs, such as the well-known Everyone aims at the same meaning, but many are the versions of the story. When his young son Mehmed died in 1543, he composed a moving chronogram to commemorate the year: Peerless among princes, my Sultan Mehmed. In addition to Suleiman's own work, many great talents enlivened the literary world during Suleiman's rule, including Fuzuli and Baki. The literary historian E. J. W. Gibb observed that "at no time, even in Turkey, was greater encouragement given to poetry than during the reign of this Sultan".Suleiman's most famous verse is:

The people think of wealth and power as the greatest fate,
But in this world a spell of health is the best state.
What men call sovereignty is a worldly strife and constant war;
Worship of God is the highest throne, the happiest of all estates.

Suleiman also became renowned for sponsoring a series of monumental architectural developments within his empire. The Sultan sought to turn Istanbul into the center of Islamic civilization by a series of projects, including bridges, mosques, palaces and various charitable and social establishments. The greatest of these were built by the Sultan's chief architect, Mimar Sinan, under whom Ottoman architecture reached its zenith. Sinan became responsible for over three hundred monuments throughout the empire, including his two masterpieces, the Süleymaniye and Selimiye mosques—the latter built in Edirne in the reign of Suleiman's son Selim II. Suleiman also restored the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem and the Jerusalem city walls (which are the current walls of the Old City of Jerusalem), renovated the Kaaba in Mecca, and constructed a complex in Damascus.

Suleiman was infatuated with Hürrem Sultan, a harem girl of Ruthenian origin. In the West foreign diplomats, taking notice of the palace gossip about her, called her "Russelazie" or "Roxelana", referring to her Slavic origins. The daughter of an Orthodox Ukrainian priest, she was enslaved and rose through the ranks of the Harem to become Suleiman's favourite. Breaking with two centuries of Ottoman tradition, a former concubine had thus become the legal wife of the Sultan, much to the astonishment of observers in the palace and the city. He also allowed Hürrem Sultan to remain with him at court for the rest of her life, breaking another tradition—that when imperial heirs came of age, they would be sent along with the imperial concubine who bore them to govern remote provinces of the Empire, never to return unless their progeny succeeded to the throne.

Under his pen name, Muhibbi, Suleiman composed this poem for Roxelana:

"Throne of my lonely niche, my wealth, my love, my moonlight.
My most sincere friend, my confidant, my very existence, my Sultan, my one and only love.
The most beautiful among the beautiful…
My springtime, my merry faced love, my daytime, my sweetheart, laughing leaf…
My plants, my sweet, my rose, the one only who does not distress me in this world…
My Istanbul, my Caraman, the earth of my Anatolia
My Badakhshan, my Baghdad and Khorasan
My woman of the beautiful hair, my love of the slanted brow, my love of eyes full of mischief…
I'll sing your praises always
I, lover of the tormented heart, Muhibbi of the eyes full of tears, I am happy."

Ibrahim Pasha
Pargalı İbrahim Pasha was the boyhood friend of Suleiman. Ibrahim was originally Greek Orthodox and when young was educated at the Palace School under the devshirme system. Suleiman made him the royal falconer, then promoted him to first officer of the Royal Bedchamber. Ibrahim Pasha rose to Grand Vizier in 1523 and commander-in-chief of all the armies. Suleiman also conferred upon Ibrahim Pasha the honor of beylerbey of Rumelia, granting Ibrahim authority over all Turkish territories in Europe, as well as command of troops residing within them in times of war. According to a 17th century chronicler, Ibrahim had asked Suleiman not to promote him to such high positions, fearing for his safety; to which Suleiman replied that under his reign no matter what the circumstance, Ibrahim would never be put to death.

Yet Ibrahim eventually fell from grace with the Sultan. During his thirteen years as Grand Vizier, his rapid rise to power and vast accumulation of wealth had made Ibrahim many enemies among the Sultan's court. Reports had reached the Sultan of Ibrahim's impudence during a campaign against the Persian Safavid empire: in particular his adoption of the title serasker sultan was seen as a grave affront to Suleiman.

Suleiman's suspicion of Ibrahim was worsened by a quarrel between the latter and the Minister of Finance Iskender Chelebi. The dispute ended in the disgrace of Chelebi on charges of intrigue, with Ibrahim convincing Suleiman to sentence the Minister to death. Before his death however, Chelebi's last words were to accuse Ibrahim of conspiracy against the Sultan. These dying words convinced Suleiman of Ibrahim's disloyalty, and on 15 March 1536 Ibrahim's lifeless body was discovered in the Topkapi Palace.

Succession
Suleiman's two wives had borne him eight sons, four of whom survived past the 1550s. They were Mustafa, Selim, Bayezid, and Jihangir. Of these, only Mustafa was not Hürrem Sultan's son, but rather Mahidevran Gülbahar Sultan's ("Rose of Spring"), and therefore preceded Hürrem's children in the order of succession. Hürrem was aware that should Mustafa become Sultan her own children would be strangled. Yet Mustafa was recognised as the most talented of all the brothers and was supported by Pargalı İbrahim Pasha, who was by this time Suleiman's Grand Vizier. The Austrian ambassador Busbecq would note "Suleiman has among his children a son called Mustafa, marvellously well educated and prudent and of an age to rule, since he is 24 or 25 years old; may God never allow a Barbary of such strength to come near us", going on to talk of Mustafa's "remarkable natural gifts".

Hürrem is usually held at least partly responsible for the intrigues in nominating a successor. Although she was Suleiman's wife, she exercised no official public role as her contemporary in England, Anne Boleyn, had done. This did not, however, prevent Hürrem from wielding powerful political influence. Since the Empire lacked any formal means of nominating a successor, succession usually involved the death of competing princes in order to avert civil unrest and rebellions. In attempting to avoid the execution of her sons, Hürrem used her influence to eliminate those who supported Mustafa's accession to the throne.

Thus in power struggles apparently instigated by Hürrem, Suleiman had Ibrahim murdered and replaced with her sympathetic son-in-law, Rustem Pasha. By 1552, when the campaign against Persia had begun with Rustem appointed commander-in-chief of the expedition, intrigues against Mustafa began. Rustem sent one of Suleiman's most trusted men to report that since Suleiman was not at the head of the army, the soldiers thought the time had come to put a younger prince on the throne; at the same time he spread rumors that Mustafa had proved receptive to the idea. Angered by what he came to believe were Mustafa's plans to claim the throne, the following summer upon return from his campaign in Persia, Suleiman summoned him to his tent in the Ereğli valley, stating he would "be able to clear himself of the crimes he was accused of and would have nothing to fear if he came".

Mustafa was confronted with a choice: either he appeared before his father at the risk of being killed; or, if he refused to attend, he would be accused of betrayal. In the end, Mustafa chose to enter his father's tent, confident that the support of the army would protect him. Busbecq, who claims to have received an account from an eyewitness, describes Mustafa's final moments. As Mustafa entered his father's tent, Suleiman's Eunuchs attacked Mustafa, with the young prince putting up a brave defence. Suleiman, separated from the struggle only by the linen hangings of the tent, peered through the chamber of his tent and "directed fierce and threatening glances upon the mutes, and by menacing gestures sternly rebuked their hesitation. Thereupon, the mutes in their alarm, redoubling their efforts, hurled Mustafa to the ground and, throwing the bowstring round his neck, strangled him."

Jihangir is said to have died of grief a few months after the news of his half-brother's murder. The two surviving brothers, Bayezid and Selim, were given command in different parts of the empire. Within a few years, however, civil war broke out between the brothers, each supported by his loyal forces. With the aid of his father's army, Selim defeated Bayezid in Konya in 1559, leading the latter to seek refuge with the Persians along with his four sons. Following diplomatic exchanges, the Sultan demanded from the Persian Shah that Bayezid be either extradited or executed. In return for large amounts of gold, the Shah allowed a Turkish executioner to strangle Bayezid and his four sons in 1561, clearing the path for Selim's succession to the throne seven years later. On 5/6 September 1566, Suleiman, who had set out from Istanbul to command an expedition to Hungary, died before an Ottoman victory at the Battle of Szigetvár in Hungary.

Legacy
Suleiman I's conquests were followed by continuous territorial expansion until the Empire's peak in 1683

At the time of Suleiman's death the Ottoman Empire, with its unrivaled military strength, economic riches and territorial extent, was the world's foremost power. Suleiman's conquests had brought under the control of the Empire the major Muslim cities (Mecca, Medina, Jerusalem, Damascus, and Baghdad), many Balkan provinces (reaching present day Croatia and Austria), and most of North Africa. His expansion into Europe had given the Ottoman Turks a powerful presence in the European balance of power. Indeed, such was the perceived threat of the Ottoman Empire under the reign of Suleiman that ambassador Busbecq warned of Europe's imminent conquest: "On [the Turks'] side are the resources of a mighty empire, strength unimpaired, habituation to victory, endurance of toil, unity, discipline, frugality and watchfulness... Can we doubt what the result will be?...When the Turks have settled with Persia, they will fly at our throats supported by the might of the whole East; how unprepared we are I dare not say."

Even thirty years after his death "Sultan Solyman" was quoted by the English author William Shakespeare as a military prodigy in The Merchant of Venice (Act 2, Scene 1).

Suleiman's legacy was not, however, merely in the military field. The French traveler Jean de Thévenot a century later bears witness to the "strong agricultural base of the country, the well being of the peasantry, the abundance of staple foods, and the pre-eminence of organization in Suleiman's government". The administrative and legal reforms which earned him the name Law Giver ensured the Empire's survival long after his death, an achievement which "took many generations of decadent heirs to undo".

Through his personal patronage, Suleiman also presided over the Golden Age of the Ottoman Empire, representing the pinnacle of the Ottoman Turks' cultural achievement in the realm of architecture, literature, art, theology and philosophy.Today the skyline of the Bosphorus, and of many cities in modern Turkey and the former Ottoman provinces, are still adorned with the architectural works of Mimar Sinan. One of these, the Süleymaniye Mosque, is the final resting place of Suleiman and Herenzaltan: they are buried in separate domed mausoleums attached to the mosque.

Buildings named after him
A Mosque was also built in Mariupol, Ukraine and named after Kanuni Sultan Süleyman , the Mosque was opened in 2005. It was built by a Turkish Businessman Mr. Salih Cihan, who was also born in Trabzon. Five times prayers along with the Friday Prayers are offered at the mosque.]]> In Quotes http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5580 Fri, 6 Nov 2009 00:26:00 -1100 Being the "New Kid" in School Carries Risks, Rewards http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5590 By Julie Mendoza, Courier Staff Writer

No matter how many schools you’ve attended there are some things that never change. There are qualities instilled in all adolescent environments.

Being a student who’s transferred to 15 different schools throughout her life (James Logan being her fourth high school), I’ve discovered several indisputable truths. Entering a new high school is like entering the land of opportunity. At first, everyone is nice. And ultimately you can be whoever you want to be. Unfortunately, 99% of the time you don’t know who that is. It may be refreshing at first, but reinventing yourself is risky. In the high school society, students always pay closer attention to the unknown.
Of course, there are downfalls to landing in unfamiliar territory. Being new can make you feel lonely, vulnerable, and uncertain in a room full of people. These are all qualities of an easy target. It’s important not to be naïve in dangerous situations. It’s even more important to have good judgment with people in order to avoid those dangerous situations. Moving a lot is most likely to make you a closed person. Although, I must admit that there are few exceptions in society of people who are worth the awkward conversation.

Different schools don’t just mean different faces. They mean different voices, diverse opinions, and new experiences. Regardless of where you are in the world, when you’re young it’s only natural to be hurt and disappointed among everyone else.

The silver lining is that majority of the time it’s worth it, and even if it doesn’t last, you’d have learned something.
]]> Features http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5590 Thu, 5 Nov 2009 09:01:51 -1100 Friday's Bulletin http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5589
ACTIVITIES
Logan Football MVAL Championship at Washington High School tonight at 7:00 p.m.

Presale tickets for the Homecoming Dance are now being sold during lunch at Room 67 in the 300s courtyard. Tickets are $10 each, or $8 with ASB sticker. Buy your ticket now so you don’t have to wait in line. If you are on exclusion, you will not be able to purchase a ticket. Check your house office for the updated exclusion list.

One man murdered in the first degree, another’s life is in the hands of 12 temperamental jurors. This is all loaded into “12 Angry Jurors” presented by Logan Drama on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, November 12, 13 & 14 @ 7:00 p.m., and Sunday, November 15 @ 2:00 p.m., in the Little Theater. Tickets are $7, and $5 with ASB, and are available at the door.

Don’t forget that next week is Homecoming Spirit Week! Show your school spirit by dressing up in your class’ theme. For Monday: Freshmen – Superheroes; Sophomores – Plaid; Juniors – Juniors of the Jungle; Seniors – Toga. For Staff – the 60s. Class points will be collected during lunch in Colt Court. Make sure your attire is appropriate and follows our dress code in the student handbook.

The annual talent show is approaching December 18th. Interested in performing? Pick up a purple application in Room 67 and submit it by Friday, November 20th.

Boys Soccer tryouts begin Monday, November 9. You must have the necessary paperwork turned in to Coach Sills by Thursday, November 5. See Coach Sills in Room 73 for more information.

Girls Basketball tryouts will be on Monday 11/9 and Tuesday 11/10. JV starts at 3:30 p.m.; Varsity starts at 5:30 p.m. in the old gym. All paperwork must be submitted to Coach Buchner before tryouts begin.

Boys Basketball tryouts are Mon.–Weds. 11/9 –11/11. Any young man wishing to try out must have a completed physical packet turned in to Coach Fortenberry prior to 11/9.

If you signed up for the Wrestling Team, you must turn in your paperwork to Coach Bagaoisan by Friday at the latest. Practice starts next Monday after school.

Attention Logan! Nominations are in and ballots are finalized! Vote for your homecoming court and teachers on Nov. 4 – 6 in Room 67, near the 300s courtyard.

MISCELLANEOUS
Her World is a full-day event developed by DeVry University to introduce high school women to careers in business and technology. The event takes place Wednesday, 11/18/09, at the Marriott Hotel in Fremont. No cost to attend with a delicious lunch. Pick-up at Logan 7:30 a.m., drop off at 3:00 p.m. Sign up in the Career Center; see Mrs. Hart.

Our 50th Anniversary Homecoming Weekend is coming up next week! On Friday, November 13th we have our spirit rally and football game, and on Saturday, November 14th from 3:00-7:00 p.m. we have our Homecoming Fair, similar to the Unity Fair, with food and performances from our clubs and exhibits about our school’s history. Invite your friends and family, and meet Logan alumni from the Class of 1960 on. That night we will also have our Homecoming Dance from 8:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. Guest passes are now available in Room 67.

Need Driver’s Education? Your place is at the Adult School. Cost is $125. December 28, 29, 30 – Monday through Wednesday – 7 a.m. to 5 p.m. Applications are now available in your house office or see Mr. Caruso in Room 77 for both an application and details. Hurry, classes fill up fast!

Juniors and Seniors: If you are planning on taking this year’s ASVAB, you must have a permission slip signed by your parents and teachers turned in to Mrs. Hart in the Career Center by lunch November 13th. Permission slips are available in the Career Center. Remember, no signed permission slip, NO TEST!

Drop-In homework/tutoring in Room 77. Daily before school 7:30 to 8:30 a.m., Tuesday-Thursday 3:30 to 4:30 p.m., and Saturdays 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

Only 6 more college presentations left. They are Sacramento State, UC Davis, UC San Diego, St. Mary’s, USF and the Air Force ROTC program. If you have not yet signed up but are interested in any of these schools, be sure to get to the Career Center and put your name on the list. Space is often limited, so don’t be left out because you came too late.

Paving the way to higher education.
Hi Students! Have you ever wondered what it takes to get into a university? What kind of things you can do in high school to increase your chances of admission? How is your family going to pay for college? What is the importance of GPA, SAT and SAT scores for college admission, and so on?

Punjabi Club will be hosting a session for the College Application Process on Wednesday, November 11, 2009 at 3:40 p.m. in Room 442 for the benefit of every Logan student. The session is likely to last 2 hours and will end at 5:40 p.m. Your parents are also invited.

We will also plan for our proposed SAT prep classes. IF YOU ATTEND, YOU WILL BE ELIGIBLE TO WIN FREE SAT PREPARATORY MATERIAL.

This session is most useful for 9th to 11th grade students, but 12th grade students are also welcome.

CLUBS
Magic the Gathering winter tournament! Sign-ups and info in Room 303 after school before Thanksgiving break. First meeting is on Friday.

Hey you! Like Japanese culture? Want to learn more? Love reading and watching anime? Come to Japanime. Meetings are on Monday in Room 457.

SENIORS
Seniors: Grad trip sign-ups are now closed. For the 370 of you who made your deposit, you will be receiving a bill for your installment payments from USA Student Travel in a couple of weeks. Do not worry about the November 6th payment; pay USA Student Travel directly when you get the bill. Payments are not accepted here at Logan.
]]> Daily Bulletin http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5589 Thu, 5 Nov 2009 07:21:45 -1100 Listen Up: Evil 105 Subsonic Spookfest Yields Fun Music, Fun Interview http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5588
By Micah Mahinay, Courier Staff Writer

The Evil 105 Subsonic Spookfest took place on October 30 at the Cow Palace. It was the debut of the first Subsonic Electronic music festival created by the one and only Bay Area alternative radio station, Live 105.

The festival featured had various dj’s and bands performing live on had two stages. The Death Dome, also known as the main stage, had performances by The Faint, Basement Jaxx, The Crystal Method, Diplo plus much more. The Deadly Disco Dungeon, the second stage, had dj’s and dj duos such as Dj Omar, Classixx, Paparazzi, Designer Drugs, Le Castle Vania, Steve Aoki, and Flosstradamus.
I arrived to the venue when Classixx was on. The duo were wearing suits and eyeball masks as their costume. Not only did they look cute, but also their dj set was fun and classy looking. Paparazzi’s set intertwined with Diplo’s set at the Death Dome. I got sick of standing at the Deadly Disco stage so I moved with my friend to the main stage so I could see crazy rave kids dance. It sounded like every dj played the track Pon De Floor by Major Lazer that night. I heard it several times.

I was scheduled to interview Michael Vincent Patrick from Designer Drugs at 8pm. That so did not happen, due to the lack of taxi service in San Francisco. Poor dude. Anyways, the night progressed and I was so frustrated because the interview hadn’t happened yet. It was around 11pm when Michael finally met up with me, I felt relieved. I missed Aoki’s set but it was worth it.



The author with Michael
Vincent Patrick
Krislyn Perez/Courier Photo

And the interview went like this:

Micah: Are you a very easy person to get along with?
MVP: To say the least I’m a very easy person to get along with.
Micah: Why did you pick Designer Drugs as the name? It’s kind of a blunt way to put it.
MVP: It’s a very blunt way to come out, but we didn’t really think of it much... When I was in high school I read an anti drug book and there was a chapter on designer drugs and I thought it sounded pretty cool, so years later when we made the group we decided to use the name, but we probably shouldn’t have… We have some issues with licensing and publishing but… F*** it you know it’s all good. Sorry I probably shouldn’t curse.
Micah: (laughs) No, it’s cool.
MVP: Yeah it’s cool cursing is cool.
Micah: I guess the D.A.R.E. program wouldn’t approve of you guys.
MVP: (laughs) No but they inspired me, that’s the funny thing.
Micah: Do you have any side projects other Designer Drugs?
MVP: Um… I do have some side projects but I can’t mention any side projects yet because it’s still in its infantile state.
Micah: Top secret?
MVP: Yes, very top secret.
Micah: You have a second member right? Where is he? Don’t lie.
MVP: Yeah, (laughs) No. Theo he’s actually in med school right now, so he couldn’t come to the show. I think he had some exams, but he wants to become a doctor. So, yeah, he’s gonna be a doctor, but he didn’t graduate high school, he dropped out of high school so…
Micah: Shout out to Theo
MVP: Yeah you don’t have to go to high school kids. Nah I’m just kidding (laughs)
Micah: Get your GED and s***!
MVP: No, (laughs) he plans on hanging his GED next to his doctor's. (laughs more) No, it’s been this on going joke since middle school.
Micah: I saw you at Blow Up Sf… that s*** was HELLA sweaty. Tell me about it.
(Corrects me)
MVP: Wicked sweaty.
Micah: Yeah, wicked sweaty.
MVP: Yeah it was the hottest sweaty party I ever dj’d at, I had to take my shirt off which I usually don’t do but it was… wicked sweaty. It was hot.
Micah: What inspires you to pick artists like Mariah Carey… and Treasure Fingers.
MVP: um… Well, okay, there’s a gamut of reasons. The Treasure Fingers thing, was like… first of all the song is amazing. Aj from Treasure Fingers, he’s an amazing artist. Mariah Carey, once again, amazing artist. The Mariah Carey thing was for a contest; we didn’t win, but we got her autograph, so it was pretty rad. It was one of those lifetime accomplishments where, like, you know you want to meet Mariah Carey, but we got her autograph.
Micah: Would you considera little Asian girl like me as a friend?
MVP: Um… No I’m not friends with Asian girls sorry. But you,though, I think we can work something out.
Micah: Do you like to sing or rap?
MVP: All of the above. Yeah, usually, if I drink too much coffee or smoke too much weed, I end up rapping a lot in my head. But not much of it gets recorded, unfortunately. It’s pretty good stuff.
Micah: When you’re drunk is that when you rap too?
MVP: No its actually when I drink too much coffee.
Micah: (cut him off) I rap… My name is Noodles.
MVP: Noodles? That’s a good name,though. You should be Noodles! I’ll produce you. I will produce a Noodles record! (grabs the mic from me)
***AWKWARDNESS… we stare at each other and laugh for a minute***
Micah: I can’t take him seriously!
MVP: You shouldn’t. There’s no reason to take me seriously.
Micah: So I forgot to tell you. I guess you’re coming back to San Francisco in December.
MVP: Yeah, I think it’s us and Toxic Avenger or something. Yeah, I love San Francisco, although the taxi situation I’m not so into.
Micah: Taxi drivers need to holla at Michael a.s.a.p.
MVP: Limousine drivers holler at me.
Micah: That wraps up our interview with Michael, got anything else to say? And we out!!!!

It was a really interesting interview, I didn’t expect that much feedback, but he’s a really interesting and sweet guy. They come back to San Francisco in December. Check them out.

Go listen to them.

Watch the interview here: ]]> Entertainment http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5588 Thu, 5 Nov 2009 06:58:52 -1100 Best 25 Homework Excuses http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5587
"Clip art licensed from the
Clip Art Gallery on
DiscoverySchool.com"
By Laurel Brodzinsky, Courier Staff Writer

In a high school campus of 4,000 students, it is inevitable that every school day there will be students who do not have their homework to turn in, for whatever reason. Usually these reasons include forgetting to do it, misplacing it, or not doing it in favor of something more interesting. The part I want to call attention to here isn’t the fact that the student didn’t do his/her homework, but the excuse they give. If you aren’t going to have your homework ready, the least you can do is come up with a more creative excuse than “my dog ate it’, which while classic has lost it’s charm. So here are 25 various excuses, in no particular order, to make your excuse making a little bit more interesting.


1. The cicadas outside the window make it impossible to read Plato’s The Republic.
This is for those AP English students who procrastinate reading almost every single book.
2. Had to rescue a kitten from a tree. Fire department unavailable due to mysterious arson in usual class building.
I think we can all appreciate this one after all the fire alarms school has been having.
3. Trying to master catching flies with chopsticks. Limited success.
Everyone needs a life goal.

Got a good excuse? Share it in the Comments section.4. Too worried about genocide in obscure African nations to focus on homework.
Perhaps your history class spends a lot of time talking about the Rwandan genocide?
5. District Court of Appeals recently ruled that homework is officially cruel and unusual punishment.
6. I did my homework in my head, I didn’t know I was supposed to write it down. Then I forgot. Next time should I show my work?
7. Had to stop and change a nun’s tire. Most effective with bonus multipliers for adverse conditions like snow, rain, gunfire.
8. Most hours outside of school spent as an invisible superhero fighting crimes to keep the public safe. Most effective if you can actually disappear, or produce a brightly colored, tightly fitting costume.
9. Hunting squirrels.
10. Too depressed about the near onset of winter to study.
11. Too heartbroken by my team's loss to study.
For the die-hard sports fans.
12. I got sidetracked programming my microwave to be my girlfriend. She warms my insides.
Any computer geeks out there?
13. Well, here’s the thing, sir. My neighbor was throwing this party, and it seemed in the spirit of the novel to really live how Gatsby did. Thankfully, no one did any driving
For the American Lit students.
14. I made a paper plane out of it and it got hijacked.
For use on teachers who appreciate current events.
15. My little sister ate it.
A twist on the old classic.
16. I had a very difficult choice to make: go to the beach with friends, or sit and do my homework. I chose to go to the beach, because my friends are more important to me than your homework will ever be.
Honesty?
17. My dad’s computer was hacked by the Russians and they stole my homework
Would work best if you are currently studying either World War II or the Cold War era.
18. I was up late taking care of my sick gerbil that my dearest dead grandma gave me as a Festivus gift the day she died. The only thing that could relieve Trentie's pain was a soft bed of notebook paper and the only piece of notebook paper I had was today's homework assignment. Gram-Gram appreciates your understanding.
19. I was eating lunch and another student started criticizing you and I just couldn't let that go without letting him know he was wrong. I searched through my backpack to find something to throw at him, and all I could find was today's homework assignment, so I let him have it.
20. I was at a rally last night demanding better pay and conditions for our hardworking teachers.
21. It has progressed on my list of priorities.
22. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t
actually reach it.
For use with math homework studying asymptotes.
23. Sorry I don't have my homework today, but I put it on top of the TV so I wouldn't forget it and the TV blew up.
24. A man came into my house last night and threatened to commit suicide. Well, it turns out he had a split-personality, so it was considered a hostage situation. It was a big commotion. Police, ambulance, everything! I can't believe you didn't hear about it! That's why I couldn't get my homework done.
25. Sorry, but my friend was hungry for knowledge, so he ate my essay.
Probably better than the school lunches…

Sources:
www.indianchild.com/excuses_for_not_doing_your_h.htm
http://www.economicshelp.org/blog/economics/excuses-for-not-doing-homework/
http://www.brighthub.com/education/homework-tips/articles/51080.aspx
http://www.myusm.com/usm340946.html?t=Humor
http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/students/the-ferris-bueller.htm]]> Features http://jameslogancourier.org/index.php?itemid=5587 Thu, 5 Nov 2009 06:42:51 -1100