By Rue Panugaling, Courier Staff Writer
To be in love is to have a tender or profound affection, sexual passion and desire for another. However, love is often confused with obsession and is dangerous if it develops into an unhealthy attachment to another.
If a person loses his emotional control, the beginnings of an obsessive and a controlling behavior will start to manifest. Overwhelming feelings of abandonment, mistrust and resentment will emerge and can cause an individual to plummet into a deep depression. These emotions sometimes cause neurotic, compulsive behaviors and control tactics. For example, rapid phone calls, unfounded accusations, guilt trips and questioning the belovedís commitment with goals of manipulating the belovedís interest into providing more attention to the relationship.
The beloved will flee and the relationally dependent person will be overwhelmed with feelings of depression, self- blame, self- hatred, rage and sometimes to seek revenge. Attempts to win the love back by making promises to change will be made and the using of drugs, alcohol, food or sex are considered or done to medicate the emotional pain and distress. Love is a wonderful but can be painful.
Obsessive love is always accompanied by feelings of anxiety and uncertainty and never survives for a long time.